There is no time left.

I feel sick constantly. It is so weird that I feel as bad I did when I left. Maybe even worser. That isn't even a word. But yeah this is sooo weird. I know I can do it but it is still going to hurt. Losing a whole life I have formed over a year.
Tonight I am having a little goodbye fest. I hope it goes alright, I am quite nervous about it. I hope I don't cry but maybe I will...that will be okay. I am wearing my "I am the Swedish dream" tshirt so i am feeling pretty darn cool!
I kept on joking about how I wanted to have a surprise party thrown for me and now I think Linnea and Kristofer are doing something secretive which is pretty darn exciting! I am also getting people to sign a swedish flag with a silver pen so that will be cool to have in NZ! I think I will have it on my wall. Even though the colours are really not suitable ha. I love Sweden that much. Or maybe I will put it up in the lounge. Maybe mum won't notice?
I am tired.
Tomorrow is my last packing day. I will be pack pack packing. And sending some stuff etc. And then I have my last family dinner I think. And tonight we are eating the fish I love. I should probably stop eating the chocolate from Sofia. There wasn't much in the packet though.
How did this year go so fast.

The moment I hit NZ my real life begins.