There is no time left.

I feel sick constantly. It is so weird that I feel as bad I did when I left. Maybe even worser. That isn't even a word. But yeah this is sooo weird. I know I can do it but it is still going to hurt. Losing a whole life I have formed over a year.
Tonight I am having a little goodbye fest. I hope it goes alright, I am quite nervous about it. I hope I don't cry but maybe I will...that will be okay. I am wearing my "I am the Swedish dream" tshirt so i am feeling pretty darn cool!
I kept on joking about how I wanted to have a surprise party thrown for me and now I think Linnea and Kristofer are doing something secretive which is pretty darn exciting! I am also getting people to sign a swedish flag with a silver pen so that will be cool to have in NZ! I think I will have it on my wall. Even though the colours are really not suitable ha. I love Sweden that much. Or maybe I will put it up in the lounge. Maybe mum won't notice?
I am tired.
Tomorrow is my last packing day. I will be pack pack packing. And sending some stuff etc. And then I have my last family dinner I think. And tonight we are eating the fish I love. I should probably stop eating the chocolate from Sofia. There wasn't much in the packet though.
How did this year go so fast.

The moment I hit NZ my real life begins.

It is near.

I had my last day school on Friday. My last day of school ever. Ever in my whole entire life. When I waled out the door of Torsberg I ran back in and stood there for a while cause it was just so weird leaving. I will never be a high school student again and I don't know how I feel about that. Definitly not glad but not sad either. Sad to leave Sweden though. EXTREMELY SAD.
I don't want to talk about it anymore. This weekend I am staying at Kristofer'while my host parents are in Stockholm. We just made a pepparkaka hus and it is so fin! I am rather proud, apart from the fact that it says God on side and Jul on the other but when you just see the God one it seems like it is the house of God. Sofia and I went for a wak this morning as well. it was soo nice! We threw snow at each other and bara chatted. I love her. I love the Ekholm family. They are amazing and beautiful.
So now I am on Christmas holidays. Thank god lots of snow has fallen, I am sooo glad. We are going to have a vit jul!!! It felt like I was in a snow globe. Especially when there was a snow storm. It felt awesome. I will miss the snow. Alot.
I am excited for Christmas. And the presents. HA.
Oh it was Kristofer's brithday in Wedenesday! And Dilan's was on Monday. We had a förefest at Kristofer's and it went great. Great people together. Then we headed out to Tranan and that was really good I think. But then Kristofer was severly drunk so it was interesting to get him home and to bed. I like him sober more. I think it would be weird if I liked him drunk though more.
I lvoe my bitches.

Boots are a bitch!

My legs are hot I think but man they will not go into boots! Stupid upper legs being fat. Fy fan Morfar! It is so annoying. I so want over the knee bots but it is not happening. Oh well. Another day another dollar. Instead I got two pairs of boots today which were all up 500kr, bargin! Got a black pair and a short brown pair and I think they are pretty darn sweet. I am happy. Gutted that I had to return my other pair but happy with the new.
So what have I been up to...I was in Sundsväll saying hej då to some exchange students. It was a pretty sweet weekend. Jack came all the way up which was sooo nice of him. He misses me. We got to go go-karting and laser tag on Rotary so that was pretty sweet. Georgia, Emma, Julia and me stayed with the coolest woman aswell! She was a priest and she owned over 125 pairs of shoes. She also said the f word and had a daughter who was 9 but just got married to the father. She believes in no sex before love not marriage. I really admire that. My prejudgment of religious leaders is out the window! But yeah saying good bye to Stefano especially was hard. He is such an amazing person. He started crying when we gave him his goodbye present. It was soo sweet. I am going to miss him! Jarryd was hard as well.
Went to innerwheel the night before. Was quite sad to say my first goodbye speech etc. I do not like it. Plus having so many people asking me about going home. Fan. Hahaha and I got the funniest lotto xmas gift. It was a pouch you hold tissues in. That is going straight to nana.
This weekend I am having a sleepover at Linnea's :) I looove my girls.

Team Edward

So on Thursday night I went to watch Twilight and then a midnight showing of New Moon. it was really cool! Really fun to go there with Linnea and such an awesome atmosphere. I thought it was funny that there were barely any guys there, it is way more love story that anything to do with vampires and werewolves.
I really enjoyed the movie. It went so fast though. I really want to see it again. I also can't decide whether I enjoyed it more than the first one or not... I think it is kind of like Harry Potter in a way. There is so much detail in the books that there kind of isn't enough room in the movie for it all.
When Jacob came on the screen with his shirt off I was extremly impressed. He is damn sexy. I am still all about Edward though. That is more in relation to books though and the fact that I think I prefer kind of skinny not super toned guys anyway. But I wouldn't mind snuggling up with Jacob :)
I loved seeing Dakota Fanning. She didn't need to do much but I have always been a fan of hers.
At the premier they were giving out movie related merchandise by sit no. and I was 39 and the girl who got the CD was 38. That sucked.
In other news school is going fine. I am trying really hard not to let going home get to me and instead just enjoy the rest of my year. it is hard though.
I met Kristofer's grandparents on Friday night. That was funny. I liked them though. I love everything about Kristofer's family.
Oh I went to Gävle last Wednesday and I got this gorgeous scarf thing, a plain white long-sleeve and a blazer. It is really cool. I have wanted one for a while. it was still hard paying $100 for it but that is the best price out there.
Ooh and I have started watching Sabrina the teenage witch, I love it!

Time flies when you're having fun.

It has been a week since I wrote right? I like how every week at school is never normal. Never a week goes by where we have all the classes we are suppose to have. Definitly makes the day a bit more exciting. I can't remember really anything happening last week... except on Friday I went to Torpshammer! It was a reaaalllly good weekend away.
We were staying in a hostel right next to Boda borg, my district and the up north district plus four newbies. it was real sweet, especially to see Georgia and Stefano etc. I love that girl so much! We have such a good time together. Plus I can tell her anything.
Boda borg was so cool as well. I am sore though. If you have no idea what I am talking about google it. It is reeeaaaallly cool.
Got back on Sunday and was so tired. Dead.
Today I did my talk about how dogs are better than cats, it went down pretty darn good :)

Wow got nothing more to say...

Never enough tv.

So I am addicted to watching tv on the internet. It isn't the fact that it is the internet it is just the fat that I can watch a whole series very fast. For example on Thursday Glee is starting on Swedish television and what do you know, I have already watched the first eight episodes. I am also at the same point of gossip girl as America is. My new addiction is One Tree Hill. I use to really not be fond of this show as nowdays it is based on adults and not teenages which is what I prefer but bam I was watching it with Alex and now I am hooked. Disgusting I know. I think I will start on Charmed next...
So anyway had a pretty chilled Helg. Friday was really nice at Sofia's birthday. I LOVE that family. It is basically my own really. I feel such a part of it, I mean I must be comfortable if I can tease his dad. The Grandma was so cute as well. 81 I think and still going strong.
Saturday and Sunday were just at home days, it is nice to just chill with my host parents. They are really nice people.
We went out to dinner on Sunday night to celebrate Fars dag, that was sweet as.
Jul is going to be sweeeet.

Pain = gain.

So as I said i got the flu vaccination but what do you know, middle of the night I am freezing (I should have listened to Kristofer teeling me to get another blanket) and so sick. Getting up in the morning was beyond painful. Especially my arm. It is still a bit tender now actually. But yeah it was bad. i ended up sitting in the shower, my body just felt so heavy. Not cool at all. Plus I thought I was going to throw up and my head was spinning. Great fun. Weirdly though by dinner time I was fine! It was so weird. But they did say it would happen I just didn't realise it would be that bad.
Oh well now I will survive the next round of this flu if it hits again. Mum said I am the only person she knows who has got it. In NZ it is only health workers etc. that are getting it. Looks like i will be Prime Minster if NZ dies out then. Touch wood.
So the main thought on my mind everyday is pretty much that I am going home. It is soo scary. I get all emotional and don't really breathe properly when I think about it. Not cool at all. I want both my lives together!
I am writing this while waiting to go out and then wait for the bus. I hate waiting for the bus. But then again I love the bus. Actually if i think about it I walked to school nearly everyday in NZ and now I can't do it. I mean it was only a little bit but it would have some effect. No wonder I have gained so much. Oh yay. Not like I will be giving up the cake any time soon though.
Speaking of cake I will be eating some tonight, I am going to Sofia's family birthday celebration. Man I LOVE that girl and that family. I am sooo glad I am a part of it. I can't even imagine what saying goodbye to them will be like. Ugh.
So yeah HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sofia! I am off to buy her gift now :) fffuuun.